Posted by Sharee Gibson
on December 29, 2025
The mental load isn’t exhaustion. It’s overcapacity.
There’s a different kind of exhaustion that’s hard to explain unless you’re living it.
It’s not always physical.
And it can show up even on days that look fairly normal from the outside.
It comes from the mental load.
The constant remembering.
The invisible planning.
The low-level hum of decisions and tasks running in the background of your brain all day long.
If you’ve ever wondered why your mind feels so full, even after you’ve technically rested, you’re not alone.
And importantly: This is a reflection of how much you’re carrying, not your ability to carry it.
What the mental load actually is (and why capable moms feel it most)
The mental load isn’t just tasks.
It’s the management of life.
It’s knowing:
- what needs to happen later
- what everyone will need before they ask
- what can’t be forgotten
- what still hasn’t been decided
It’s tracking meals, schedules, supplies, routines, habits, appointments, emotions — often without anyone seeing that work happening.
That’s why being told to “just get more organized” or “delegate” misses the point.
Most moms aren’t overwhelmed because they’re disorganized.
They’re overwhelmed because too many decisions are living in their head at the same time.
And here’s the part we don’t talk about enough: this is often hidden by competence.
How competence hides the cost
For a long time, I didn’t think I needed systems.
I could remember everything.
I could juggle the details.
I could make it all work.
And because I could, I told myself I didn’t need anything extra.
But the cost of doing it all mentally was overcapacity.
I wasn’t failing.
I wasn’t falling behind.
I was just carrying too much in my head for too long without support.
Why decision fatigue hits when it does
Decision fatigue is real and motherhood is full of it.
By the end of the day, you’ve already made hundreds (sometimes thousands) of small decisions:
what everyone will eat
which plate goes to which kid
what layers they need
what needs to be ordered or scheduled
what can wait
what absolutely can’t
So when dinner rolls around, or bedtime, or the transition from one part of the day to the next, it can feel like that moment is the breaking point.
This isn’t a discipline problem.
It’s a systems problem.
What changes when decisions leave your head
What finally shifted things for me was getting decisions out of my head.
When the plan exists somewhere outside your brain, everything feels quieter.
You’re not scanning for what you might be forgetting.
You’re not the only one holding the information.
You’re not re-deciding the same things every day.
Life still has demands —
but they’re supported instead of stacked.
That’s the difference.
Why systems help (when they’re done the right way)
When people hear the word “systems,” they often think:
- more rules
- more structure
- more things to keep up with
That’s why I resisted them for so long. Literally, for years.
Taking time to build a system felt like more work.
By the time I mapped something out, I could have just done the thing already.
And honestly? That was true.
But what I didn’t see at first was this: That front-loaded effort would pay me back tenfold.
The systems that actually help moms do the opposite of adding work —
they externalize decisions.
Instead of holding everything in your head, the system holds it for you.
Instead of asking yourself the same questions every day, the answers already exist.
That’s the shift.
The three systems that quietly reduced my mental load
These aren’t about optimizing your life.
They’re about supporting it.
1. A command center that gets plans out of my head
A single place where schedules, routines, and “what’s happening when” live. So I’m no longer the default keeper of all information.
2. A meal planning system that removes daily decisions
Not figuring out dinner every afternoon.
Not starting a menu from scratch every week or mid grocery shopping.
Just fewer questions waiting for me at the end of the day.
3. A habit-building system that doesn’t rely on motivation
Small, repeatable actions that don’t require willpower so self-care doesn’t become another mental task to manage.
If your brain feels full, it’s not you — it’s the setup
If you feel:
- mentally exhausted even after resting
- overstimulated by the end of the day
- frustrated that help still funnels back through you
- like no one sees how much you’re holding
That doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.
It means your systems haven’t caught up to the complexity of your life.
Want systems with half of the upfront time cost?
If you’re craving less mental noise — not a total life overhaul — this is where I can help.
To make this easier, I’m sharing my exact systems — the steps, structure, and templates I use — so you don’t have to build them from scratch. (It's free!)
The front work is most of the way done for you.
